Surviving The First 2 Weeks As A New Mom

A friend of mine [Danica] wrote a blog post about what to do leading up to having a baby, and it's a phenomenal post, so you should go read it!

I've been wanting to write this post for a while. I want to talk about what happens after you bring your baby home. 

The first few weeks after having your first baby is a crazy wonderful tired blur! As I'm sure you've heard.

Having a new baby is HARD! It's beautiful and like the best thing ever, but it's hard. You have no idea if you're doing anything right and there are so many hormones coursing through your body that you're literally just trying to survive without a total breakdown every other second. But we love those babes so it's all good!

A few things first:

I'm not an expert! I mean who is in the world of motherhood, right? 

The following is a compilation of my own experience and research online and experiences of other moms I've talked to.

**Fair warning, some things discussed below will be a little sensitive**

So, let's get to it!

PHYSICAL RECOVERY:

• I didn't have a C-section so I have no idea what the recovery for that looks like. As for my own experience, I did tear in a couple places so recovery was pretty rough. Make sure you take advantage of all of the free items at the hospital (tucks wipes, granny panties, pads, numbing spray, lanolin, cleaning squeeze bottle, donut, etc). Ask your nurse what else you can take. The donut SAVED me because I delivered in St. George and we drove the 2 hours home to Las Vegas the next day. I seriously used that thing for the next week! 

• Make sure you stock up on your favorite brand of pads. In all sizes. Big depends. Small panty liners. You don't wanna be stuck without the proper size! And get some boyfriend undies.

• Take stool softener. Don’t forget. That’s all I’ll say.

• Uterine contractions are a thing! In the hospital, after you’ve delivered your baby, the nurse will push HARD on your stomach to try and get your uterus to shrink. Like, you will want to swear at her. Know that this is normal! Be nice to the poor nurse. You also might have some uterine contractions once you get home. I had them for a few days after the delivery. Your uterus contracts to shrink back to its normal size... So weird, I know! You may feel them especially strong if you breastfeed. Every time I laid down, I made sure to lay on my back and push my uterus down a few times to help it shrink.

• I had swollen feet leading up to having Lexi (thank you Las Vegas summer) but I was way more swollen for a few days after the birth! I made sure to drink a LOT of water and put my feet up whenever possible. Have your hubby/mom rub them for you. Oh and soak your feet in epsom salt too! Glorious!

POSTPARTUM HORMONES AND NEW EMOTIONS:

• Postpartum hormones are a beast! I was so worried about postpartum depression that I made sure Logan knew about it beforehand and that he would let me know if he thought I was having any issues and needed to get help. While I didn't end up having PPD, I did have a mad case of the baby blues off and on for two weeks. I cried. A lot. I cried because I thought we gave Lexi the wrong name. I cried because Logan played me a cute song- like really sobbed. I cried because I had no idea what I was doing as a mother. I cried because Lexi was crying. I cried because Logan came home from work a half hour late. I cried because I was just so exhausted. I cried just because. I just want you to know that it's ok! Just cry! Let it all out, sister! Tell your partners right now that if this happens to you, they just need to tell you how amazing you're doing as a mom, hold you, and just let you cry. And remember, it's ok to eat cake for breakfast. 

• I had SO MUCH anxiety about getting out of the house with Lexi for the first few weeks, especially by myself. Which is way weird for me since I love being busy and out and about! This was probably linked to my postpartum baby blues. I was super nervous to breastfeed in public as well. Even with a cover it just intimidated the heck out of me! The only piece of advice in this arena comes from Nike- JUST DO IT. Get out of the house the first week! Go for a walk. Get yourself a Dr. Pepper at a drive through- SOMETHING. The more you go out, the faster you'll get used to soothing or feeding your baby in public. Sun and fresh air and other humans will do your new mama soul some good.

• Don’t get crazy. My friend never felt the anxiety about going out that I did. In fact, she was quite the opposite. She felt like she had to get out ALL THE TIME since she wasn't used to being at home all day. While it’s good to get out and get used to having a baby tag along, don't go overboard! Take it easy! You just brought a freaking baby into the world! It's ok to stay at home, cuddle, and love on that little human as much as possible. Don’t feel guilty about not being busy busy busy. This time seriously doesn’t last for long! Enjoy their squishy newness at home for the most part, but don't be scared of going out every once in a while!

• You’re going to feel a kind of love you’ve never felt before. It’s heavy, deep, raw, and beautiful. You’re going to worry WAY more than you thought was possible. But when they smile at you your heart will EXPLODE. When they say, “Mama” you will feel like you could just die of happiness. This love will hit you like a ton of bricks and have you wondering how you ever lived without them. 

• Your love is going to grow for your husband/partner by 298240938458! Seeing someone you love so much care for and love this little human you made together will make your heart melt. Ah!

This is love!

BREASTFEEDING:

• If you're planning on breastfeeding, I would recommend taking a class. I took an online course from Lindsey Shipley that helped a TON! You can sign up for all different types of classes here. Your hospital may also have free classes you can take in person!

• Letdown Reflex- mine was mean! My milk took about 3 days to come in. When it finally did, it felt like needles were poking me and my insides were burning right towards the bottom of my breasts near my armpits. It does get better! Eventually this feeling will go away.

• Grab a few comfy nursing tanks and bras beforehand. They will come in handy!

• Ok let’s talk about the sensitive part. Nipples. They will crack. They will hurt. They might bleed. Ouchie! Air dry them with breastmilk and lanolin (sometimes I used coconut oil) then use Breastpads. I didn't like the reusable ones so I used the disposable Lansinoh pads and I love them. Try a few different kinds to decide what you like best! 

• You can track your feedings with an app on your phone. Now, not everyone does this, but especially the first little while, I liked knowing how long ago and for how long Lexi ate. I use an app called Baby Loggy. I like it because it's extremely simple and easy to just push a button and start timing it. You can also track bottle feeds, pumping sessions, sleep, diapers, bath time, measurements, milestones, etc. I still use it a lot to this day just for feedings. (Fun fact, I've breastfed Lexi for over 470 hours. That's like 20 DAYS people…)

• EAT , DRINK, AND FEED YOUR BABY. I was ravenous and parched when I started breastfeeding. I always had to have a huge water bottle or Gatorade and little bowls of snacks by my side when I fed her. My favorite snacks were wheat thins, trail mix, fruitsnacks, string cheese, hummus and pretzels, fruit (frozen grapes are da bomb)…

• Use the side-lying position when you're really tired (or even when you're not). You will both save energy and you can roll over and go back to sleep when you're done. This is especially helpful when you have someone to bring the baby to you when he/she is hungry, then they can take them back to let you sleep. Haha.

• There are a few Facebook groups that were really helpful when I started breastfeeding: 'Peace, Love, & Breastfeeding' and 'The Milky Way'. They're basically just great support groups of experienced breastfeeding mamas that are more than willing to help answer any questions you may have! 'The Mamahood Community' is also a great group to answer any mom-related questions- or any questions really. (I got sick of all the constant posts so I changed the notification settings so that I only saw things I wanted to see.) 

• Regulating your supply/pumping:

• Your supply may take a while to regulate. FEED, FEED, FEED. Breastfeeding is supply/demand. When you feed your baby more, it triggers your body to produce more milk! You can use pumping to increase your supply, as well as drinking Gatorade and taking a few other supplements. You can also feed from the same side for several feedings to try and increase the demand for more milk. 

• A lot of people choose to replace one feeding per day with pumping to get their baby used to a bottle and to give someone else (husbands, for example) a chance to feed the baby. My sister-in-law pumps once during the day then goes to bed at 8pm and her husband feeds the baby at 10pm and puts them down. That way momma gets a bigger block of sleep. I pumped a few times, especially when I was engorged (it hurts like the dickens) but didn't do it consistently. I wish I had because now Lexi still doesn't really take a bottle. While I love breastfeeding her, I do feel tethered to her and only have a 2-3 hour window to go out with Logan or friends. But if you're sleep training your baby or they are starting to sleep through the night, you may wake up engorged. You can relieve the pressure by hand expressing, icing them, or pumping. Just make sure not to pump for more than 25-30 seconds each side or else it will signal to your body to keep producing milk at that time! Eventually your body will regulate itself.

• Enjoy this time! While you and your baby are learning the ropes of breastfeeding, you may be sitting around for hours on end. Make sure to have your snacks/water/phone/charger within arms reach. Enjoy the cuddles. Binge watch ALL OF THE SHOWS on Netflix.

Some of my favorite moments are cuddling up and feeding Lexi. 

Such a special bond!

SLEEPING:

• Far and away, getting enough sleep is the biggest issue new parents face. Everyone always tells you that you’re going to be exhausted. And yes, you are. But I’m telling you… YOU’VE NEVER FELT THIS LEVEL OF TIREDNESS. All those late nights studying for finals or hanging out with friends ain’t got nothing on this. But... Unfortunately there’s no cure-all to make sure you get a solid 8 hours of sleep with a newborn. That's just not the way they work. So that being said, I guess the first thing here is to realize that you're going to be exhausted. Welcome to parenthood.

• Babies are weird. Haha. They get their deepest sleep at the beginning of the night (9pm-2am). Adults get their deepest sleep from 2am-6am. It's like a cruel joke or something. This may be why your baby sleeps way good for those early hours and then wakes up at 2am, then 4am, then 6am, then 8am. Eventually they will learn to sleep for longer periods of time. I know it's probably hard, but try to go to bed as close to when your baby does so that you get that sleep too, even though it won't be your best sleep. At least it's something. Sleep training is a whole other beast. I'm still learning to do that myself.

• The first week is the most exhausting. You've just given birth, you don't know how to soothe your baby quite yet, and even when they are sleeping you are worried if they're still breathing. It's a vicious cycle, haha! The trick during this time is to sleep whenever you can. If you have help from family, have them take your baby between feedings so you can sleep, even if it's just for an hour and a half. At first, nap when they nap. Eventually you will probably want to use their nap times to shower or get things done. But for now, let the dishes pile up, put your 3-day dirty hair up in a messy mom bun, and get some rest!

• Invest in a baby monitor. This could mean just the regular ‘ole audio monitor (what we have now), an audio/video monitor, or a heart-rate/oxygen level monitor. You need to feel as comfortable as possible that your baby is ok so that you can get your own sleep.

• Co-sleeping vs. not. There is always so much going around about this. You decide. Seriously. I know a lot of parents who have co-slept from day one. And they love it! I personally just wouldn’t be able to sleep as well with a babe in bed with me. We had Lexi in a bassinet at our bedside for the first few months and then we transitioned her into her crib in her own room. We just did what works for us. Who knows, maybe things would have been different if we had a king bed, haha. 

• When trying to get your baby to sleep, it's helpful to keep a few things in mind. Babies. They are new in the world. They are used to an enclosed, comforting space (AKA your womb). You can help them by trying in some small way, to make this big world feel a little smaller and less scary.

     • Try using a noise machine. I read somewhere that the womb is 5x louder than the sound of a vacuum cleaner! To introduce your baby into the world, it may be comforting for them to have a sound machine. That way they don't startle when they hear other noises.

     • Obviously the lighting and temperature of the room can make a difference. Remember that cooler is better than warmer! Studies have shown that keeping it a nice 65-72 degrees is best. Adding blackout shades can help them stay asleep longer too!

     • Swaddles may become your best friend. Most babies love to be swaddled. Lexi included! Babies have a random reflex (called the Moro or startle reflex) where they flail their arms and this can sometimes wake them up. Swaddles rectify that to some degree and also helps them feel like they're right back in the womb. We loved the Halo Sleep Sack until she was able to wriggle her arms out.

• It’s never too early to start a bedtime routine! It's never too late, either. You can create your own order of things, but you should probably try to keep it shorter than 30 minutes. Whatever you decide, the important thing is to keep it consistent. Our bedtime routine is: diaper change, jammies, book, prayer, eat, bed. We do baths every other night right now, just because she doesn't really need one every day yet, but a lot of people incorporate a short bath into their routine. 

The sleep deprivation is real... But it looks so cute!

SOOTHING:

• Babies cry! The more you know your baby the better you will come to understand the different types of cries they have. Pretty soon you'll learn if they're just fussy or if they are in distress and you need to respond immediately. Remember that you can never  spoil a baby! First of all, make sure they have everything they need: food, clean diaper, enough sleep. From there try and figure out what is wrong. Does their tummy hurt? Are they teething? Do they have an ear infection? Go down the checklist and try different things to make them feel better. Like using teething gel/tablets or gripe water for instance.

• Your baby may be colicky. More on that here.

• I saw this video after Lexi was like 4 or 5 months old and too heavy. Pretty incredible and definitely worth a try if your baby is inconsolable!

 • We also used Harvey Karp's 5 S's for soothing a fussy baby. Rather than going into detail about this technique, here is a link for your viewing pleasure.

MORE RANDOM POINTS:

• YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND KNOW BEST- every. single. person. you know will give you advice on this or that. I'm 100% positive you have already experienced this throughout your pregnancy. While it can sometimes be helpful, it's also extremely overwhelming! Bottom line is, you are the mom. You know your baby better than anyone else. Even better than your mom or grandma!! I was talking to my friend about this and she said, "If someone doesn't agree, well... That's why they have their own kids to raise." BAM. 

• Get the Nose Frida. Don't worry, there's a filter. Also,  Gripe water can help if your baby is having tummy issues or gets the hiccups. 

• It’s ok to have boundaries. When you bring a beautiful new bundle of joy into the world, it's only natural for everyone and their dog to want to come visit you and share in the love. Aunts and uncles will want to snatch that baby up SO FAST. And I love that, I do. But it's your baby. You are allowed to be a baby hog. If you don't feel comfortable with someone holding or touching your baby, say so! If others can't respect your wishes, that's their problem. You shouldn't be afraid to express your feelings and concerns just because you're new at this. 

• Communicate with your partner. Let them know when you need help (and YES- be willing to accept it). Let them do things their way. I found myself wanting to correct my husband whenever he changed a diaper, rocked her to sleep, or gave her a bath. Don't constantly correct them. In fact, compliment them. Then they'll keep helping ;).  They will find their own way of doing things just as you are.

• You will take an infinite amount of pictures. Trust me. Maybe you don't plaster social media with them, but you will take them. Create a shared folder on your phone that your family members also have access to so that they can see that cute baby without begging you to send them pictures via text. Also, make sure you put your pictures on your desktop or external hard-drive so that you don't loose them, or run out of room on your phone. Because it SUCKS when your baby is looking all cute n'messy eating sweat peas and "Cannot take photo" pops up.

• You do need support. A few friends that I spoke to (myself included) really loved having someone to talk to/text that isn't your mom. I had 2-3 girlfriends who just had babies that I could text constantly (sorry ladies) to ask questions and honestly just talk about all things baby. The good, the bad, and the ugly. If you need someone to text, choose meeee!!! Don't feel bad about getting help from others. People in your neighborhood, ward, anyone.

• It does get better! The sleepless nights, the constant crying, the not knowing what the heck you're doing, the worry. It never REALLY ends, but it does get better!

So tiny & squishy I could just die!

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER!

It won’t always feel like it. There will be moments when you feel like such a failure. There will be moments when you ask yourself, “What did I get myself into?” There will be moments when you feel like all the other moms are judging you. But who cares what other people think? Breastfeeding vs. Formula. Co-sleeping vs. not. Working vs. being a SAHM. Haters gon’ hate on both sides of every parenting issue. Just repeat to yourself “I am awesome. I gave this human life. I know what is best. I can do this.” That baby loves you so much! You are their whole world. All you have to do is your best!

Relax. Breathe. Snuggle. Revel in the miracle that is your baby. You will be ok, I promise!

Ok mamas, I know that was seriously the most long-winded post EVER! I hope someone got a little bit of something out of it!

I want to hear from you! Comment below with anything else that you wish you knew or that helped you get through the first two weeks with a new baby...!

And with that, until next time!